Wednesday, 25 August 2010
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
Thighs
Sadly not
Am sat in Kent bored stupid missing donkeys and worrying about swine flu
Discovered that luke has got it in hospital
Am now regretting whipping my mask off and kissing him ( nice though
it was) it is probably time for a drink 12.08 pm
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Monday, 16 August 2010
Home in the garden
I feel calm and not as bleak as I thought I might
Need to recap the last week just so I can remember for posterity
The last few days became a bit of a blur as more and more people
joined us
We stayed at the fountain inn in parkend and it was packed with people
camping and walking with us
I could feel myself retreating and wanting solitary time to share with
just me and the beasts
Utterly selfish but true
The last day was quite an adventure
Sue whose small holding we were staying on for the final weekend came
and walked with us said she knew a lovely route to the farm
It was lovely and rocky and a bit dangerous and long and up and down
and through amazing forest and rutted tracks , exciting and
challenging, lots of pushing and shoving , pulling the cart and archie
our amazing cart donkey pulled like he had never pulled
Head down, heavy breath and always stoic.
We got in late and then piers toby and I had to go and see molly in a
show
Crazy evening
The last day was wet but fine
Zoe and deborah both did brilliant workshops which were really well
attended
I had wondered what Deborah would do with the chair
Fantastic
A group workshop with people taking it in turn to sit on the chair and
others to offer suggestions as to what they needed to feel at home
We then talked collectively that night around the fire to our visitors
about our jounrney
The next day was achingly sad
Loading the donkeys not easy at all
Vehicles breaking down and a reminder of how unreliable mechanical
things are! The donkeys never broke down!
I am so proud that we did it
No accidents, no injuries, no sick donkeys
There are so many things that I want to record and not forget
Bullet point again:
Toby taking me to a river spot that he found on the last day , skinny
dipping with me and admitting that he would miss the trip and the
walking
Cooking on a fire
Sleeping out and feeling the weight and sheer majesty of the night sky
Walking all day next to an animal
Seeing a group of people walk in rhythm with the donkey and a peace
and tranquility descend on all
The sound of the leather panniers creaking
Living outside
All I need packed up and on the donkeys
The simplicity
So my last blog, I've enjoyed tapping my funny little phone quite a lot
I weighed my self today
10 stone
I sort of didn't care which is pretty unusual,
Thanks to all who made it possible there are so many
My family have been pretty amazing
But special thanks to the donkeys
I'm sad to end this blog as it means the trip is over
Would like to write something very meaningful but unfortunately can't
think of anything
Bye blog , bye project, bye donkeys, bye artists
Thankyou all xxxx
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home
Sunday, 15 August 2010
Packing up
we have all had a huge last breakfast and we are all trying not to
face the inevitable
The final pack
Everything is suddenly very important and heavy with meaning
The saddles and panniers look sad and reproachful and in can't bear
the thought of them rotting in a garage
The camp yesterday was great
So many people for workshops
The workshops were brilliant
Sally Hampson week two artist came back which was lovely
Will write up a good account or yesterday but just need to record now
Am overwhelmed already with feeling of loss
And can't really look at the donkeys
Particularly merlin and archie who will go back to Somerset and we may
never see them again
I have secretly fallen innlive with both of them
Archie for his stoicism, bravery and quiet ability to pull the cart
through whatever he was presented with and rise to the challenge
Merlin for his sleek beauty, his doleful eyes, his blackness and his
soft as velevt patch between his front legs
Merlin who is sensual and loves a scratch , a stroke , will push other
donkeys out of the way to get more attention
Merlin I have fallen for you and do not want to say goodbye
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Saturday, 14 August 2010
All over
Car park in lydney about to do a shop for the weekend camp and last
night
Have a dark feeling in my belly like a hangover but not
Feeling of confusion , a need to cry and a sense of " what now?"
Also small forays into the world make me wonder what did we create
When did we lose ourselves and a grip on reality
Who invented plastic and why is there so much of it
Will write up yesterdays journey as it was pretty mega with some
fairly big near misses in it
Now o need to enter the co op
It was raining badly this morning which hasn't done much to lift my mood
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Thursday, 12 August 2010
Coming to an end
everything else
Briefly:
Radio four were great, maggie Ayre and clare balding
Realise jn hindsight that clare is an icon to many people but as none
of us watch any sport none ofnus realised
Dad couldn't belive it , i love clare balding he kept saying
Well so did we and her producer was lush
Started to rain quite seriously after she went and we were staying in
a field behind speech houise in the forest
Piers and I decidednto go on a date as the group fairly small and
wehavw hardly done anything romantic for weeks
Just as our main course arrived my phone rings
It is luke extremely old friend of mine and piers , Tobys godfather ,
hebhad been out walking with us near the start and was heading to
Australia to emigrate.
Very quickly he told me that his leukimia which he had had a bone
marrow transplant for had returned , he was sorry to bother us as he
knew that we only had a week left but unforunately so did he
potentially only have a week left
Unbelievable
We left our meal and returned to the camp
Things went from bad to worse as Scott got his knickers in a twist
about a conversation with piers , he had had too many beers and
basically tried to pick a fight
Piers had to call me from my tent as he thought there may be a child
protection issue
Oh god oh god , I was really angry as actually piers and I had enough
yo deal with
We all walked on weds
Scott refusing to speak
Me and piers gutted about luke
It rained much of the day
Scott tried to get me to arrange for him to go home
I refused until he spoke to piers and sorted it out
For gods sake it was the last thing that weneeded
Piers was brilliant and it was sorted
I went to London yesterday to see my darling luke
The camp and donkeys rested
The artists pleased to have a day to work
Heavenly place in the pludds
Views for miles, across to wales and over the forest
Can still see may hill
Surreal on the train, felt calm, had washed and even shaved my legs
Got there early so ended up buying a dress out if sheer nerves and not
knowing what to do
Went to the hospital
My beautiful , honest, old soul friend who is one of the true real
loves in my life is dying
Had to wear a stupid mask which didn't go with my dress, he
appreciated the dress and the shaved legs
Spent four hours on and off with him
He is calm and totally accepting so I will be too
Want moments to hang on forever and somehow say the most meaningful
thing but of course neither is possible
Took my mask off at the end , threw the other visitors out and climbed
on to the bed and clungon to my dear friend.
Luke , you have been everything to me and my family and friends
We kissed and I wanted to bundle him into my bag and bring him back to
the forest and lay him down by the fire and see the shooting stars
Came back , the ever brilliant jez picked me up , toby was there and
cried to hear how ill luke was
And so we have two days left , a long day today with friends joining
and other walkers
You will be in my head and heart luke
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